Just before Christmas someone, or some parties, broke into Cain Humberstone’s property on the Yorke Peninsula and made off with over 200 bodyboards that he’s spent 17 years collecting. Police experts believe the hefty loot is the work of a criminal organisation or at least 15 grommets and is doubtless causing a severe moral and physical burden to the guilty so therefore Cain is giving a one week amnesty for their safe return before he seeks revenge SA desert-style (seen Wolf Creek, yeah?). If you aren’t the guilty party but know who they and are prepared to sell them out for a token reward then we promise anonymity. Cain hasn’t as yet specified what that reward is so we’re going to let you choose between 5 percent of the returned stock or, for the believers, eternity in the kingdom of heaven (though we doubt the last Judas was well received in heaven).